You Don’t ‘Lack Follow Through’ - 5 Signs You’re Self-Regulating Through Future Fantasies

I saw this video randomly pop out of my recommendations and I’ve got to say that it really got to me. The idea is that a lot of people (like me) can get stuck in their fantasies and fail to live up to their potential. Rather than lead to action, they serve as a temporary escape from the difficulties of one’s current situation. After all, nothing can go wrong with a situation you make up in your head.

Unfortunately, life isn’t like that. Things are a lot harder than they first appear and even if you accomplish a goal, you’ll get a new set of problems!

How do you break out of this? You need to live in the present, acting to bridge the gap between who you are today and where you want to be. In doing so, realize that

Realistic plans and goals are about trading in the problems of your current life for the problems you’d prefer to have…ones more aligned to your authentic self.

I guess you can’t prevent the fantasies entirely, but the idea is to mine them and realize what pursuing them entails, in terms of what you do next as well as what it’ll cost you while doing so. In doing so, be open to feedback and criticism as they force you to step out of a fantasy and ground it in reality.

The signs that you self regulate through future fantasies:

1. Constantly ideating on plans but never execute them.
2. Picturing the highlights and not the day-to-day.
3. Being defensive when questioned about goals.
4. You regret the life you didn’t live.
5. The future you is the only good version of you.

The solution to this? Live in the present and realize where you are and look into what you need to do next. Focus on the next step rather than the final goal.

When you’re caught up in your fantasies, you overlook a lot of trade offs. Money is great, but it comes with more responsibilities¹. The idea is to know what it actually entails and determine if the problems are worth it.

Also, be open to feedback since it will help you get closer to where you want to go.