I Really Miss The Days When I Was Fitter


The other day I was just thinking of how I’m way less fit than I used to be. While I was terrible at the sports I was forced to do, I did somewhat enjoy being active as long as it was on my own terms. I am nowhere near as active as I once was but I want to be so I’ve decided to write this post.

My Earlier Sports Carrer—Bad Unless It Was on My Terms

Now, I doubt I was ever fit. I’ve been a fatass all of my life and I was never particularly good at sports. I’d finish last in every race which I had to run as a fatty and I was in the F rugby team in primary school. I was in a better rugby team in high school but that was only because we couldn’t form a team of 15, meaning I had to play every game. As a prop, I was terrible at it, cartwheeling every scrum and incapable of taking people down. Making things worse was being forced to spend every Saturday I winter (even taking long trips) doing a sports fixture only to lose every single game in the 4 years I was at that high school.

PE wasn’t much better and I hated it though I now appreciate the school trying to keep us active. I struggled to do press ups resulting in a lot of laughter pointed my way. In about Form 3 at 15 we were placed either in PE or English Literature. I hated English Lit and my teacher hated teaching me even more, so when my mom came from SA where she was working at the time, I thought I could formally switch to PE but my mom refused. Two years of muddling along I boosted my grade from 3/25 to 15/25 which got me a B in O Level’s. I did this by being a human form of ChatGPT regurgitating what I learned in class via osmosis.

Despite this, I really enjoyed walking around places. Harare has garbage spatial planning but I didn’t mind this as a teenager. I also got a bike which felt amazing being able to go long distances without taking much more time. I got here not by choice1, but I eventually loved it.

I’d walk home which was quite fun to do especially with my friend who at one point wanted to take over Western Sahara because reasons.

Ending High School—I Still Suck But I’m Enjoying It a Lot More

Things got better in my final high school years in eSwatini with two things. First was rock climbing. Like other sports I wasn’t good at it but it was really fun trying to scale the climbing wall. Someone would have to anchor me and they’d come up a lot as I fell down, but I really enjoyed it. I even went to Nelspruit in South Africa with actual rocks. I sucked at that too but it was so fun nonetheless.

Secondly was hiking. eSwatini is an incredibly beautiful country with lots of mountains and hiking trails. Every some week, the white Swazi teacher would put at a sign up sheet for a hike in some Swazi mountain. We’d leave early and spend 4–6 hours just walking. I’d usually go with my friend Natasha2, who was incredibly tall, dump all my problems to which she would timidly listen to and try help with. Making things better is that we had better lunch than the school cafeteria.

I also remember a couple other cool hikes. One was in Lesotho where we had a French trip (don’t ask). We spent a lot of time hiking, even checking out Mount Qiloane which has a pointy shape like the hat they like to wear. I also got to hang out with my crush at the time3 which was cool and full of anxiety when she’d talk to other dudes. Another time was hiking Mount Nyangani. It’s not a hard mountain to climb but it’s still fun all the same.

Another thing that’s hilarious with hindsight was the time I played netball. It’s typically a “woman’s sport” but somehow they let me play, even in an inter schools competition where we came 2nd. Given the whole thing around trans women in sports these days, it’s funny how they let me play. It’s not really a physical sport, the most you do is block, pass and shoot so I guess it’s not that unfair?

Initially the sports was an obligation to earn CAS points that was part of the IB curriculum. CAS points were earned by doing something creative, active or socially engaging. These activities very much did that, but I had a lot of fun along the way.

Moving To America—Where I Become A Huge Fatass

Sadly, I went to college and became an extreme fatass. Even though Waverly, Iowa wasn’t particularly hard to walk across (except going to Walmart and McDonald’s up the hill), I’d reach out to my car to head 3 blocks, a cancellable sin according to urbanists. The one reprieve was that I went swimming as part of a class on water and it was pretty fun. I would do it more but people will point and laugh at my fat ass.

It got worse after college but I did pick up the habit of taking morning walks, even through COVID. Also, during COVID we went to Vic Falls as a family and hiked in the Mosi-o-Tunya National Park4

The walks stopped when I got a job and it fucked up my back not because it was physically demanding but because I spent the whole day in a chair. When I went to Doha, I struggled to walk a few meters without my back massively aching. This worried my sister who told my mum who told me to see a doctor. I saw him, paid $100 and he told me to exercise more. Did you really need $100 to tell me that?

I also rode a bike once. I was getting Orange pilled and I wondered if there was a bike that can take my fat ass and it turns out that The Buffalo Bike does. I managed to ride it fine and when I bought it, I got exhausted cycling a few dozen meters so I never used it again—ultimately selling it off.


I don’t know why I wrote this, but it feels pretty good. I don’t know what it’ll take to get some sort of fitness back but my one goal is to be able to lose enough weight to ride a bike. Buying fuel is pissing me off and public transport here is garbage. Not that cycling infrastructure is any good, and Zim drivers are even worse, but half of my commute to work has bike lanes, albeit poorly maintained. People chance them so I guess I should too. I suspect the average speed won’t be as big as expected. Bikes are an incredibly underrated technology, also the most efficient vehicle man as created.

Along with that, I’d love to check out a rock climbing spot though I can’t see anything on Google. I’d also like swimming but I’m not looking forward to hearing:

Dhafu dhunda, apedza loaf ramhamha…

Not sure how I’d translate it. Literally it’s “fatty you finished your mom’s loaf [of bread]”. Good enough but there’s a tune to it, kinda like:

Damn fatty, why did you eat that whole cake.

I don’t know, if you have any suggestions on how to exersize let me know!

  1. I lived with my aunt while my mom was working in SA at the time. ↩︎

  2. I highly doubt you’ll read this and I haven’t followed up since a few months in college but if you do, what’s up? How did the rowing work out, you seemed to like it. ↩︎

  3. No, she didn’t like me back. Pretty cringe episode in my life and I lost contact but we did talk quite a lot after high school. Again, I doubt J will read this, but if you do what’s up? How did you fare at Harvard? You’re one of the smartest people I know. I mean, 45 in IB and 11 A*s? Damn. ↩︎

  4. Weird time that was. I doubt there were more than 100 tourists at that time. Very quiet and I can’t image how much it must suck to have far less business than usual dues to all the lockdowns and travel restrictions. ↩︎