I’m Done (For Now)

I underestimated how easy things would be after college. The thing I underestimated the most was just how hard it would be to find a job. Because of that I’ve been unemployed since I graduated in 2018. I was underprepared and didn’t put the effort needed to actually be an adult.

Add in 2020, along with all the terrible shit it brings, especially the pandemic, and I’ve fewer options than I had before. Given how so many people (especially in the tech industry and with lots of experience), are unemployed, I don’t stand a chance in the job market. Less so compared to people just graduating and learning from scratch. At least they don’t have the stigma of a chronically unemployed Computer Science student. I’ve very little to show for all my time. I’ve made many job application spreadsheets and they’re all rejections and ghosts.

As for making content, besides the $1.81 I made last year, it hasn’t gone anywhere. My writing sucks and so do the websites my writing is on. This also applies to my YouTube channel which has a whopping 1 subscriber (me) and less than half an hour of watch time. Why would anyone watch it? The videos are terrible.

I could drone on about how hard things are for me right now, but it’s better I focus on getting better. In light of how poorly things are going, I’m done. It’s just too much for me. By “I’m done”, I mean that I’m stepping back to see exactly what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it.

I’m stepping back to see exactly how I can make my content better.

I’m stepping back to see how I can more effectively apply for jobs besides spamming resumes into a black hole.

I’m stepping back to improve my personal projects and develop my technical skills.

I’m stepping back so I can rebound stronger.

It doesn’t mean I’m taking a hiatus exactly; I still plan to write, albeit sporadically. Just don’t expect things to be the same as they are now. That also goes for my projects.