Tipping Is A Cultural Expectation, And Little More
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One annoying thing about the US is the expectation to tip 20% at a sit down restaurant regardless of whether the service was good or not. The main defense of tipping is because of the tipped minimum wage which is far below the standard minimum wage. Thing is, there are multiple places in the US without a tipped minimum wage but the expectation remains.
Instead of going back and forth on the mechanics of tips1, just accept it as a cultural expectation and move on. Every culture has weird quirks and tipping is no different. In eSwatini for instance, no Swazi would accept anything coming out of the left hand—doesn’t matter if it was at an international school or in town you always pass things with your right hand.
Sure, these expectations can be abused. For instance, in Zimbabwe married men are expected to pay a lobola, a bridal price, to the woman’s family2. It seems like paying a family for a woman, but I think of it as a thank you for raising such a beautiful woman and a way to bond with the in-laws. Unfortunatley, given the current macroeconomic situation, lobola is a money making enterprise from which the man could feel entitled to their wife acting a certain way. Still, it;s just a cultural expectation.
It would make these discussions a whole lot simpler since we don’t have to pretend that servers don’t like the status quo since they can make a lot more money (untaxed even), moreso since the current labor shortage.
You can say that 20% is a huge portion for mediocre work but they’ll reply that they need to share with back of house (which I doubt they do). They’ll point out that they havea tipped minimum wage at which point you point out that employers must pay the shortfall if tips are below minimum wage which, again, I doubt they do. ↩︎
Not sure how it works with queer couples and Zimbos would hate you if you tried to figure it out. ↩︎